Teeny
by Khaleesi Khupcakes
Summary: the Glee people as mini-muffins.


**Teeny.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. **

**

* * *

****Chapter One. Kurt.**

It took a while for MaryAnn and Burt to adjust to the fact that their 5year old son was caught raiding his mother's closet, escaping to the backyard in a frilly pink bra and a blue chiffon skirt. Lipstick smeared across his chubby face. Eyeshadow in his soft blonde hair,

"Mommy, I like your clothes!"

"But, honey, you don't see _me_ running around in my underwear."

"But this deserves to be seen! It's so lovely!"

"Honey, how 'bout we go inside." MaryAnn picked Kurt up by the straps and carried him inside as he kicked and screamed,

"MOMMY, LET GO! PUT ME DOWN!" MaryAnn dropped Kurt into a puffy armchair in his room, specifically for bedtime stories,

"Listen here, boy, you start first grade tomorrow, and as much as you like putting makeup on, you can't wear any to school."

"You wear makeup."

"I'm a grown-up woman, I'm allowed to." Kurt's mouth dropped open, he burst into tears, fleeing the room, the undone bra trailing off his arm.

"DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY!"

* * *

The next day, MaryAnn and Burt dropped Kurt off at school, the place he had been restrained for two years. The first thing the little boy did was walk up to a Hispanic-looking girl in a yellow dress. Her dark brown hair in braided pigtails protruding garishly from above her ears,

"Hello!" said Kurt.

"Bonjourno." said the girl.

"Whassat mean?" Asked Kurt,

"Don't know." said the girl.

"I'm Kurt."

"I'm Santana Angelina Lopez."

"Angelina like the mouse? Who does ballet?"

"I do ballet!" shrieked Santana, grabbing Kurt's hand and dragging him over to a chubby African-American girl,

"Kurt, this is my friend Mercedes, she likes to eat bread." Mercedes stared at Kurt for a while, then said,

"Have you ever swallowed a fly?"

"Ick." Kurt made a face and backed away, bumping into a little boy with what looked like a five o'clock shadow for hair.

"Whatchit! You almost breaked me!"

"Sorry. Hey, you're hair looks like my daddy when he forgets to shave!" The kid rubs his head,

"You have powder in your hair. Are you a girl?" Santana hopped in front of Kurt,

"STOPPIT, NOAH! YOU'RE NOT NICE!"

"Hi Santana." Noah started to blush, but was interrupted by a small brunette climbing up onto the teacher's chair and shouting out,

"HELLO, FELLOW FIRST GRADERS, AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, MY NAME IS RACHEL BERRY, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY, THAT ALTHOUGH WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT, I HAS A SUSPICION WE ARE ALL GOING TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS!"

"OH, YEAH, THAT'S LIKELY!" shouted a little girl who was gobbling Cadbury Cream Eggs and was kind of shaped like one herself. She stood up and wiped the cream from her chin and hollered out an announcement of,

"MY NAME IS LAUREN ZISES, I LIKE TO EAT AND HURT PEOPLE." Rachel hopped off the chair and skipped over to Santana and Kurt,

"Hello, little boy, _Santana. _How are you enjoying school so far?" Santana made a face of contempt,

"Don't talk to me, Berry." Kurt turned completely white,

"WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE NICE TO EACH OTHER?" Rachel grinned,

"Wow, you really _are_ the new kid." Kurt was confused,

"Is that a bad thing?" Kurt started to think about it, (being new could just be code for unexperienced) but lost his train of thought when the cutest boy he had ever seen sped past him,

"Well, goodbye, Kurt, I have to go get Lauren off Noah." And Rachel skipped away to break them up. Kurt went over to the boy,

"Hello." the boy turned around,

"Hi. Do you like seafood?"

"What?" The boy opened his mouth disturbingly wide, revealing heavily used toast and jam.

"SEAFOOD, SEE FOOD? GET IT? HA HA HA!"

"Ick." said Kurt, "That's icky."

"I'm Finn." said the boy, holding out a pudgy, mud-encrusted hand. Kurt wrapped his sweater sleeve around his own hand and shook Finn's. All of a sudden a gentle but loud cry of 'DARLINGS,' sent Finn into hysterics,

"It's out teacher, Miss Emma! She's really mean if you're bad. So come with me, you have to sit on one of these shapes here." Finn pointed to an assortment of brightly coloured paper shapes, Kurt liked the idea of sitting on shapes to shield his lovely white overalls from the dirty floor, so he chose a nice pink circle between a little Chinese girl on a blue triangle and Finn on a yellow square. The girl tapped Kurt's knee,

"Are you new?"

"Yes. I just got here today."

"Well, school started last week. Miss Emma said everyone is welcome at Circle-Time, though. We hear stories at Circle-Time, but we do other stuff, too. My name's Tina. I like black kitties."

Kurt liked this girl. She was nice.

"Is that Miss Emma?" Kurt pointed to a skinny ginger-haired woman in a baby blue cardigan, who was holding a picture book,

"Yeah." said Tina, "Today, we get to hear a story, make pictures, and have gym-time." Miss Emma spoke up,

"Okay, kids, we're going to make our pictures now, so everyone go sit at your tables, oh Kurt honey, please come here!" At the call of his name, Kurt stood up and ran to the smiling woman,

"Yes, Miss Emma?"

"You take a seat right between Artie and Quinn there." Kurt didn't know them... but Miss Emma was pointing to the chair between a delicate blonde girl and boy with glasses. Kurt skipped over to them happily.

"Hello!" he shouted in Artie's ear. Artie scowled.

"Stoppit. You hurted my ear."

"I'm sorry." the girl next to him rubbed her nose,

"I have the sniffles, wanna see?" she said, sticking her hand in Kurt's face.

"Ick. Ick ick ick ick ick ick!"

"Sorry. We're about to paint, wanna join in?"

"I think I have to..."

"Okay," said Quinn as Miss Emma handed her a pail of finger paint and a sheet of paper, "Just use your hands!"

* * *

Kurt tried to keep up with this finger-painting. It was hard. And slightly maddening. He was tired of getting paint in his ears when he tried to pick at his bug bite. Quinn had already produced a pretty red and blue butterfly with a big smile and a sign that said, "CORN"

"Corn is what I have for lunch."

"I have crab salad on a flaky croissant. it's yummy."


End file.
